Animal Christmas Cheer

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!"

What do you call a cat on a beach at Christmas?
Sandy Claws!

Why couldn't the cat work out how to use her new video?
She kept pressing paws!

Woman: Excuse me, do you have a kitten for my little girl?
Assistant: Sorry, madam, we don't do swaps.

Which animal should you not play cards with?
A cheetah!






What kind of bird can write?
A PENguin!

Where do penguins go to dance?
At the snowball

What do baby penguins sing when their father brings fish home?
Freeze a jolly good fellow






Where do polar bears go to vote?
At the North Poll

How do you start a polar-bear race?
Say 'Ready! Teddy! Go!'

What's white, furry and smells of mint?
A polo bear

What do polar bears eat for lunch?
Ice burgers

What are polar bears' favourite dessert?
Baked Alaska






What do sheep say to Santa?
Seasons bleatings!

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
Merry Christmas to ewe!

How do Mexican sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What is a sheep’s Christmas carol
We wish ewe a Merry Christmas







Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !

What did the dog get for Christmas?
A mobile bone!

What do you do if your dog has ticks?
Don't wind him up!






Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !

Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drum-sticks!

This turkey's disgusting!
Well, you asked for a foul roast!





How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?
Chick to chick !

Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
Because the referee whistled for a fowl!






And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ....
These jokes will sleigh you!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was "elf"-taught!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-"deer"!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
"Horn"-aments!

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
"Rude"-olph!

Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he's a "rain"-deer!





A rabbit's favourite Christmas song?
'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'

What did the police do when the hares escaped from the zoo?
They combed the area!




What drink do frogs like best?
Croaker-cola!