Thursday, December 07, 2006
Animal Christmas Cheer
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!"
What do you call a cat on a beach at Christmas?
Why couldn't the cat work out how to use her new video?
She kept pressing paws!
Woman: Excuse me, do you have a kitten for my little girl?
Assistant: Sorry, madam, we don't do swaps.
Which animal should you not play cards with?
What kind of bird can write?
Where do penguins go to dance?
At the snowball
What do baby penguins sing when their father brings fish home?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
Where do polar bears go to vote?
At the North Poll
How do you start a polar-bear race?
Say 'Ready! Teddy! Go!'
What's white, furry and smells of mint?
A polo bear
What do polar bears eat for lunch?
What are polar bears' favourite dessert?
What do sheep say to Santa?
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
Merry Christmas to ewe!
How do Mexican sheep say Merry Christmas?
What is a sheep’s Christmas carol
We wish ewe a Merry Christmas
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the dog get for Christmas?
A mobile bone!
What do you do if your dog has ticks?
Don't wind him up!
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drum-sticks!
This turkey's disgusting!
Well, you asked for a foul roast!
How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?
Chick to chick !
Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
Because the referee whistled for a fowl!
And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ....
These jokes will sleigh you!
Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was "elf"-taught!
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-"deer"!
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he's a "rain"-deer!
A rabbit's favourite Christmas song?
'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'
What did the police do when the hares escaped from the zoo?
They combed the area!
What drink do frogs like best?